Divorce is the end of the marital journey. It is something that needs to be spoken about because divorce impacts not only the husband and wife but children and extended family as well.
It is generally not encouraged to split siblings between parties during a divorce. This is especially so when they share a close bond. However, if parties agree on such an issue and if there is no other factor which requires the Court to not grant this wish then it is possible to do this.
When it comes to the issue of children, what is of paramount importance is the welfare of the child. As such, while is it possible to obtain split care and control, the final decision still rests on the Judge.
It is also important to note the difference between custody orders and care and control orders. The former relates to long terms issues such as education, religion and healthcare of the child while the latter has got to do with day to day affairs. The party who does not have care and control will have access to the children. This access could vary from day access to weekend access including or not including overnight access.
The above are issues which can significantly affect your ties and bond with your child and we highly encourage you to know your rights in a divorce especially when it involves young children.
Connection to Children After Divorce Proceedings
People often make decisions without considering all factors before going for the nuclear option. This is especially so when emotions are high.
A common thinking is that “I will get a divorce and I will never have to see ‘this person’ again”. The truth is that they actually have something to do with each other for the rest of their lives, whether they like it or not or at least until their children turn into adults.
If parties try to think in a rational manner for the sake of their children, we could avoid protracted proceedings and or endless variations to court orders.
It is important to note that the paramount consideration in any proceedings involving children is the welfare of the children. This is placed above the needs and wants of the parties.
Where custody/care and control of the child is concerned, the ex-spouses need to work together and have constant communication for the benefit and welfare of their children.
Parents must prevent the children from being negatively affected by the proceedings.
Custody refers to long term issues where both parents must make joint decisions while care and control refers to day to day issue.
Reasonable Access To Children After Divorce
It may not be easy to come to any mutual understanding or conclusion. You must realize this and be mentally prepared.
What we need to know is that whoever has the care and control of the children is not able to prevent the other party from being be given reasonable access. This is trite law.
Generally, access will be unsupervised unless there is history of violence or crime or cases where children have been separated from either parents for some time.
Access may also be incremental moving from supervised to unsupervised and thereafter overnight access as well. Reasonable access does not necessarily mean overnight access.
For example if the child is an infant and there is no allegation on the way the mother has carried out her duties towards the child, it is likely that care and control will be given to the mother unless parties mutually agree otherwise.
The father may not be able to obtain overnight access at this stage.
You must also come to an agreement on stipulated timings to be fair to both parties as not all orders are stipulated in such detail where communication may no longer be necessary.
Seek Free Consultation Before And After Divorce
If you must seek consultation, do so with a qualified professional. In doing so, more often than not, you will be able to get sound advice from them.
While we are on the topic of protecting and the welfare of the children, it is important to note that there are circumstances where one parent is not given custody or has limited access to the children.
If you’ve read this far, you can click on any link in this website to talk to us. Don’t worry, it’s free!
So now you know that a divorce is more difficult when you have children compared to having none.
There are people who makes mistakes. This blog was written to help all people in general and not just those from the Muslim community.
Engaging a lawyer is not compulsory but it is definitely helpful especially when there is a lot at stake.
As lawyers, our professional duty is to represent our clients through their divorce proceedings. We will not advise you on whether or not is it better for you to divorce. That is a decision that you will have to make on your own accord.
If you have not made up your mind or wish to save your marriage, please proceed to a counsellor or Ustaz who will be able to advise you better.
We are here to assist those whom wish to divorce or are in the midst of divorce or PPO proceedings.