What A Good Muslim Divorce Lawyer Would Advice
Muslim Divorce can be an arduous experience. It is something so difficult to do that you would think it over and over again for yourself and for your children.
On the other hand, it can be a step that will set you off on a new journey to self-discovery and growth.
Trying to figure out what happened and what went wrong is not as important as learning how to start your new life after a muslim divorce process.
After going through a muslim divorce you may find yourself in a completely new and strange atmosphere. Your normal daily routines will be completely gone.
Even your home may be different. How can you get back on your feet after a muslim divorce then?
Let yourself grieve
Don’t expect things to return to how they were immediately. While it is normal to feel down and moody, do not give in to those negative feelings either. There will be dark days, but there will also be better days.
Concentrate on moving forward step by step. Get up and continue to be productive. This is not only for your own good but for your family and your children as well. You can be productive by completing simple tasks while going about your day.
Every time you recall memories of the past, allow yourself to feel the emotions, acknowledge those feelings and let them go.
Bottling things up can eventually drive you to a corner and you may fall into depression. Seek help if you must, especially when you stop being productive and neglect basic hygiene or routines.
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Forgive yourself
Whatever has happened, has happened. Pointing fingers will not change anything. For the sake of your own mental health, forgive your ex-spouse too.
Studies have shown that forgiving someone will make you feel better and this will make you emotionally stronger. Muslim divorce may not be easy but it definitely does not make you a loser.
You may go through a period of depression, but you can and need to bring yourself up. Don’t fall into despair. Talk to a counsellor or trusted friends to help you process your thoughts and feelings.
Let go of the negativity
You will be tempted to restore things to as they were before, even though you know that they weren’t good for you. You will think that your future is bleak, unhappy, lonely and that your life is over.
It is also normal to dwell on the things you’ve lost. It could be companionship, emotional stability, social standing or financial security that was shared with your ex-spouse.
However, you must learn to let go of these negative thoughts. Don’t listen to these thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.
This is important as you’re starting your new life. This is also the opportunity to reinvent yourself.
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Let yourself grow
Going through something major in your life such as a muslim divorce, can be an enormous learning experience and opportunity. Learn well from it so you will not make same mistake again in future relationships and in your life.
There are other ways you can grow as well such as doing the things you have been putting off because you were married. Use this time to learn new skills, new languages or simply pick up a hobby. You can even go places and explore. Key is to expand your horizons.
Always be open to new possibilities and welcome change. You are in control of your own fate and nobody can help you better than yourself.
Envision yourself living the life you want for yourself and have a clear plan ahead. Work towards that goal every single day.
It’s not the end of the world
Life after divorce is not the end of the world. You now have a second chance to start a whole new life. Embrace the journey.
Many have gone through divorce and have emerged as a happier, better and more fulfilled person. Your response to this unique situation will determine your future and life after divorce.
The outcome lies in your hands and yours alone. Your immediate priority is to rebuild your life. Not to what it was before, but something else or even better if you may.
Remember that it is important to plan ahead for yourself. Setting goals and planning for them will guide you towards building a new life after divorce.
Engaging a lawyer is not compulsory but it is definitely helpful especially when there is a lot at stake.
As lawyers, our professional duty is to represent our clients through their divorce proceedings. We will not advise you on whether it is better for you to divorce. That is a decision that you will have to make on your own accord.
If you have not made up your mind or wish to save your marriage, please proceed to see a counsellor or Ustaz who will be able to advise you better.