Care and Control: Does the Mother Always Get It?

Does Care and Control Automatically Go to the Mother in a Syariah Divorce?

By Rizuan, Joint Managing Director, Emerald Law LLC · Last updated: September 2026

No. The Syariah Court in Singapore decides care and control on the child’s welfare, not the parent’s gender. Young children are often placed with the mother under hadhanah, but fathers do obtain care and control where they are the steadier day-to-day caregiver. Custody — the right to make major decisions — is usually joint, with access for the other parent.

What is the difference between custody, care and control and access?

Custody is the right to make the major, long-term decisions for a child: schooling, healthcare and religious upbringing. Care and control is the day-to-day reality — whose home the child lives in and who runs the routine. Access is the time the other parent spends with the child.

The three are decided separately, and parents often argue about the wrong one. A father who is told he has joint custody sometimes assumes the children will live with him half the week; a mother with care and control sometimes assumes she can change the child’s school on her own. Neither is correct.

The Syariah Court’s divorce forms reflect this split. Under the Syariah Court Practice Directions 2025, a Case Statement asks the party to state whether sole or joint custody is sought, whether care and control (or split care and control) is sought and on what terms, and what access is asked for. Where there are children, an Agreed or Proposed Parenting Plan is filed with the Case Statement.

If you want the longer explanation of each term, we set it out on our child custody in Syariah Court page.

The Family Justice Courts guardianship page explains guardianship and custody applications where there are no divorce proceedings. Section 35A of the Administration of Muslim Law Act 1966 requires the Syariah Court’s permission to commence or continue civil proceedings involving the custody of children where the parties are Muslims or were married under Muslim law, so the two courts’ roles are co-ordinated rather than a free choice.

What is hadhanah, and does it mean the mother always wins?

Hadhanah is the right of nurture and care of a young child under Muslim law, and it does give the mother a strong starting position for very young children. It is a starting point, not a guarantee. The child’s welfare is what the Syariah Court is ultimately deciding.

The traditional hadhanah rules are well known in the community: a young child is generally placed with the mother, an older child is asked where he or she would rather live, and the mother’s position can be affected if she remarries. What is less well known is that each of these rules yields to the child’s welfare on the facts.

These are principles of Muslim law rather than fixed age rules written into the Administration of Muslim Law Act 1966, and the Court’s own process reflects that. Where custody, care and control of or access to a child is disputed and the child is aged between 7 and 21, the Court may direct a Joint Child Interview so that an older child’s wishes are heard directly rather than assumed from a rule.

So a mother who has remarried can and does keep care and control where the children are settled with her. A father can obtain care and control of a young child where the mother is not able to provide stable care.

When a mother tells me in the first meeting that hadhanah settles the question, my answer is that hadhanah gets her to the front of the queue, not across the finish line. She still has to show the Court a workable plan: who is at home after school, who takes the child to the doctor, who keeps contact with the father going.

We explain how welfare is assessed in our article on child welfare in Syariah law.

At what age will the Syariah Court speak to my child?

There is no fixed age written into Singapore law. In practice, the older and more mature the child, the more weight the Court gives to what the child says — but the Court will not simply hand the decision to the child.

The child’s voice usually reaches the Court in one of two ways. Where there are serious disputes or allegations affecting custody, care and control or access, the Syariah Court may order a Custody Evaluation Report to be prepared by an appointed psychologist, who interviews both parents, the child and other significant adults in the child’s life. The report is confidential and, as the Court’s page on support programmes states, there is no fee for it.

A judge may also see the child. Where custody, care and control of or access to a child is disputed and the child is aged between 7 and 21, the Syariah Court may direct the child to attend a Joint Child Interview with the President of the Court and a court counsellor to find out the child’s preferences, wishes and concerns; that interview is confidential.

How you prepare your child matters. Do not rehearse the child, do not send the child in with a message, and do not ask afterwards what was said. Coached children are recognisable, and the coaching usually hurts the parent who did it.

Can a father get care and control of young children?

Yes. Fathers obtain care and control where the evidence shows they are the parent actually providing stable, hands-on care, or where the mother cannot. It is harder for very young children, but it is not closed off.